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Conversations of Faith with Beth Davis

David Patterson Season 2 Episode 22

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When I sat down with Beth Davis of Blessed is She, it wasn't just a conversation—it was a revelation of heart. Her tale embarks from a childhood steeped in faith, to a simple prayer that forms the cornerstone of her daily life. 

Ultimately, the essence of our dialogue rests in the profound celebration of the Eucharist. The solace found in daily Mass and the intimate relationship we each cultivate with the sacred heart of Jesus is a gift that transcends time and place. Whether it's feeling at home in a foreign parish or experiencing the kinship of saints both past and present, the global Catholic family emerges as a source of limitless joy and fortitude. Our stories, interwoven with laughter and spiritual insight, invite you to rediscover the Eucharist's role in your journey, and to kindle a faith so radiant it beckons others to its warmth.

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Speaker 1

Welcome to yes Catholic, the place where real people share their real stories and realize that it is all God's grace on the move. I'm your host, david Patterson, and every week we hear a new guest share their story of how they came to give their guests to Jesus and his church. So let's get started Tonight. I'm really excited to welcome Beth Davis, who is in the house. Welcome, beth.

Speaker 2

Hi, david, thanks so much for having me.

Speaker 1

Absolutely. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story. So, for those who don't know you, why don't you share a little bit about yourself before we dive in?

Speaker 2

Yeah, so my name is Beth Davis. I live in Phoenix, arizona, and I'm the director of formation for a Blessed as she, a Catholic women's ministry. So that's, I think, probably how we got connected.

Speaker 1

That's right. It's a beautiful ministry that you have going on, and I'm sure we're going to learn a little bit more about that pretty soon. With your own story, do you want to? We'll try to dive into the rapid fire a little bit. Let's try to tackle some of these questions.

Speaker 2

Yeah, let's do it.

Speaker 1

All right. Describe yourself as a child in three words.

Speaker 2

Okay, gregarious because that means outgoing and friendly, but I didn't want to use two words for that, so gregarious.

Speaker 1

I was like, please explain.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, yeah and sensitive and probably sweet.

Speaker 1

Sweet as well. Awesome, yeah, I think I'm going to be a night owl.

Speaker 2

Okay, naturally a night owl, but I don't want to be so striving in my routines to be a morning person.

Speaker 1

Amen to that. Yeah, it's a journey for sure. Okay, if you could have any superpower what would it be?

Speaker 2

Not being late, I think, is a superpower.

Speaker 1

Not being late. Yeah, a bunch of alarms.

Speaker 2

That's what I'm on. Being on time, I guess, would be the superpower, yeah.

Speaker 1

I just like let time stop kind of thing. Slow down to make it on time, yeah.

Speaker 2

Or like teleportation, because usually I need to be where I'm going when I'm leaving to get there, you know.

Speaker 1

Fair enough. No, I think a lot of people could probably relate to that. All right, Go to order at a coffee shop.

Speaker 2

Ice americano with cinnamon powder.

Speaker 1

I got to try that. I've not had that before.

Speaker 2

It's very boring, but I stopped being able to do dairy recently and I don't really do sugar. I'll do like I actually carry my own, like stevia drops, in every bag that I own, because stevia powder has, like, different preservatives. It's a whole long, boring story but for the sake of ease, ice americano with cinnamon powder.

Speaker 1

Sounds good. All right, go to short prayer.

Speaker 2

And Jesus take care of everything.

Speaker 1

Surrender.

Speaker 2

Yeah, they abbreviated even yeah.

Speaker 1

No, but it's a powerful, powerful prayer, just to say Jesus like, take care of it.

Speaker 2

Yes.

Speaker 1

Makes me think of Saint Teresa, of just basically saying like go tell Jesus, you know to take care of just such faith, right, totally.

Speaker 2

Actually, I've been telling you that I think the prayer I more often pray I don't know if this counts it's more like a declaration. I say God's will about literally everything, and I got that from a story about Mother Teresa. She was in a plane crash. She came out miraculously unscathed but people in the crowd, including some of her sisters, were killed and she was overheard. The direct quote is God's will, period, god's will, exclamation point. So it's like profoundly orienting, like it's a declaration, like God is in this and God will make all things work together for good. So and it's caught on like even in my friend group on our staff we say like God's will for everything, just to remind ourselves that God is sovereign.

Speaker 1

I love that, but you said God's will period, god's will exclamation. Is that how it goes?

Speaker 2

Yeah, that's the quote in the book. I think the book is Mother Teresa a personal portrait. That's where that story is from.

Speaker 1

I'm going to have to tell my students that one I love that.

Speaker 2

Isn't it good it?

Speaker 1

is good. I'm going to write that down somewhere, some journal, I don't know. I'll pick it up. All right, if you could have coffee with any saints, who would it be?

Speaker 2

John the Baptist.

Speaker 1

Okay, have you heard that?

Speaker 2

before. Have you heard that one?

Speaker 1

Oh yeah, crying out in the wilderness.

Speaker 2

No, I'm so curious. Do you get normal people? Does everybody want to have coffee with the same saint?

Speaker 1

I mean Podger Pio comes up quite a bit, Not going to lie.

Speaker 2

Interesting.

Speaker 1

Saints of Res of Lysia, sure Saint Joseph for a lot of dads Wow. Yeah, no, it's really interesting just to hear. I mean teleportation, superhero power is a go-to or like shy location for those marthas out there.

Speaker 2

Okay, yeah, yeah, that's funny. Yeah, john the Baptist for me.

Speaker 1

Yeah, Any thoughts on what you would ask? You sit down with the coffee.

Speaker 2

Oh yeah, I would more just want to talk about the Lord, Like he's my best heavenly friend and he was my patron saint for a year. I do like a patron every year and I was introduced to him when I saw a relic of Saint John the Baptist and I was like that is wild, Like do we have relics of Saint John the Baptist? That weirdo? And just in prayer felt like very connected to him, Felt like the Lord highlighted that relic for a certain reason. So I spent the year getting to know him and I feel like he's just wildly misunderstood. But he has this like burning, passionate love for the Lord, which is what makes him preach this like purity and radical following of God. So I just like want to talk about Jesus, I want to talk about the things of God with John the Baptist.

Speaker 1

I love that. I love that so much. All right, last question If you could ask God one question, what would it?

Speaker 2

be. I mean I ask God lots of questions.

Speaker 1

All the time.

Speaker 2

All the time Sure, and then you know, just vulnerably. I think what I need to ask him regularly and do but I could ask him more regularly is why do you love me Until I, like, believe it very deeply, you know, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1

The journey of the head and the heart kind of thing.

Speaker 2

Totally yeah.

Speaker 1

It's a long journey.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

That's a solid question I think a lot of people can relate, myself included, especially when you come face to face with your own brokenness and need for him. It's kind of like you relate to Peter where he's like get away from me, for I'm a sinful man. And yet the Lord is like, yeah, but I'm calling you. I've chosen you for such a time as this.

Speaker 2

Right yeah.

Speaker 1

Which is amazing. So well for any flew through the rapid fire. Let's begin with a prayer and we will have your share, historic, in the name of the. Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Let's just take the time to ask our Blessed Mother to intercede for this time. Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of the high womb Jesus.

Speaker 2

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Speaker 1

Saint Therese of Lisi, pray for us. Pray for us Saint John Paul, saint John the Baptist Pray for us. And Saint John Paul II, because he's my friend, pray for us, pray for us. In the name of the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, amen. I wanted to say Saint John the Baptist, but Saint John Paul II was like. I'm always asking for him to pray for me, so it's.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I'm not surprised, because he's a big one in my life as well. So he's elbow in his way and yeah, exactly, he's like, let's go. He's like why didn't? You want to have coffee with me.

Speaker 1

Yeah, right, all right, let's dive in Where's your story begin, beth.

Speaker 2

You know, I've been reflecting recently on just the beauty and the kindness of God, from the very moment of our conception really. And so I'm going to be that person that talks about like. I was born in 1983. My parents had trouble conceiving and had a loss and had. My mom had some pretty serious endometriosis and was told, basically, you have one ovary at this point, the other one is not in good shape. Like you're not going to be able to have children. So my parents adopted in their generosity. I have an older brother and sister, and when my sister was two months old not even hadn't even signed the final paperwork to adopt her my mom got pregnant with me.

Speaker 2

And anyway, it's a whole miraculous story that the Lord has been reminding me of that from the beginning. My life has been a miracle and I just think it's. I share that, first of all so that I remember to like write it more deeply upon my heart, but as a reminder to anyone watching that your life too is a miracle and the circumstances are different, but it's good that you exist. God willed you into existence. He loves you more deeply than you know, and so that's my story from the very beginning is that I was wanted and loved not only by my parents but by God himself, really blessed to be raised in a Catholic home. My mom was Catholic, my dad was not, but, you know, agreed to raise us in the church and I'm always embarrassed to share this part of my story. But I was an altar server, which now I wouldn't be like that into girl altar servers, not trying to be political, but I remember sitting on the altar as an altar server as a middle schooler and just like being caught up in the beauty of the mass and the transcendence of the mass and thinking about God and thinking about my little life, my friendships, my problems, thinking about God, but just never not knowing that that was him on the altar where I served.

Speaker 2

And some of that is just, you know, the innocence of a child. Some of that is poor formation, just yeah, being raised kind of going to mass and even, you know, lighting an advent wreath and doing some Catholic things, but I didn't know how to pray the rosary. My mom was devoted to St Anthony but I didn't know any saints. I certainly didn't have any. I'd never been to Eucharistic adoration, we didn't regularly go to confession and when I was in high school at the time here in the Diocese of Phoenix, confirmation happened as a junior in high school, so I was about 15 when my mom made me go to confirmation. I wasn't super unwilling but it was a big commitment as a year long class and multiple retreats, weekly youth group and class, and I praise God for that because my life changed there, through the community primarily. Really, the witness of my youth minister who you've talked to before, his name is Paul George. He's in Louisiana now.

Speaker 1

Oh yeah, good man, good man.

Speaker 2

Yeah, the best man I've ever known, like really such a yeah. I changed my life by his witness really and joy, and I would babysit their first daughter, who's now married. It's just wild, but really my life changed in Eucharistic adoration on a confirmation retreat and I brought just all of my brokenness, this like yeah kind of life defining insecurity, that I had this like crushing weight of wanting to be loved and chosen and I'm pretty much all heart. You remember I said I've been sensitive like since the womb and just brought all of that by God's grace to him in Eucharistic adoration and fell in love with Jesus as a real person, really, even like reading the song of songs as a high school teen and just understanding, again by God's grace, that the Lord wanted a personal, intimate relationship with me. And do you remember that time of?

Speaker 1

that. Do you remember that time? Actually, I kind of want to pause for a second and just ask for a kind of adoration. Do you remember that pivotal moment for you?

Speaker 2

Oh yeah.

Speaker 1

Like.

Speaker 2

I was like, yeah, I mean, it wasn't. It's embarrassing to think about knowing what I know now and I didn't know then it was so about. I was just so broken. I mean I was struggling with like habitual sexual sin Like I've been introduced to. I don't know if I can say this word on a YouTube channel, or I don't want to get you like blocked or anything.

Speaker 2

Anyway, I was supposed to pornography, like very early on, struggled with masturbation, like for years, and I just I struggled with that shame in silence for many, many years. And you know that, this deep insecurity, this deep longing to be loved, big feelings, you know. Broken parents, a family that was together, but my sister who's severely mentally ill, just a lot of strife in our home. I just had a deep, deep need for God, for his love. So I mostly remember my brokenness and like the insecurity that I felt. But there's something about that memory of just like seeing Jesus in the monstrance and I had a to her credit, I had a confirmation like small group leader who kneeled beside me and she put her hands out and was just, you know, saying out loud praise you Jesus, thank you Jesus, and I just mimicked everything she said.

Speaker 2

If she held her hands out, if she closed her hand because I was totally new. So, whatever she did, like I believed her because I believed that she loved me and that she loved Jesus. Yeah, I guess the thing I remember, the picture that I have in my mind, is just of Jesus in the monstrance, like steady, not going anywhere, lit up with this like subtle light, and yeah, it's like every other monstrance you've seen, but just the stability of his presence there in the Eucharist and that really anchored me, wow.

Speaker 1

Yeah, it's beautiful and it really speaks to the journey of well, the power of accompaniment as well in the sense of a small group leader and just that certain leadership right.

Speaker 2

Right, yeah, I can't. I was the youth minister for 11 years. I still can't believe core members are like a real thing and people volunteer to like go on retreat with it. It's the greatest thing in the world, but it's so generous. So, yeah, I look back at those people with a lot of gratitude.

Speaker 1

That's amazing, and so, after your moment with adoration, you said you were led into youth ministry.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, well, yeah, I went to college. I always wanted to teach special education. Like I volunteered in special needs classrooms from the time I was five years old and then growing up with a sister who had emotional special needs, being mentally ill, yeah, it almost like confirmed that, like I just wanted to work with those families and serve those families, but at the same time, I had fallen in love with Jesus. So in college, in the summers, was working at a Catholic summer camp and just had some like really important people, people that I respected, just encourage me and say like you're good at this, you should be doing this, and, at the same time, this tension of I went to a small state school that actually began as a teacher's college and so I had a great relationship with my advisor who was the head of the special education department and I just remember it, we actually went to Mass together, like he was Catholic, on this really small campus, and I just said to him like how can I just talk about Jesus to these families, like we can do all of these interventions, but like I want to give them hope, I want to talk to them about the love of God, and he was like, yeah, you can't do that.

Speaker 2

And it's honestly, it's a miracle in a way, that he never just said to me oh, you could teach at a Catholic school. He said like, no, you can't do that, and so that for me shut the door on teaching. Whether that's true or not, it was true for me and it led me to go down a different path. So, yeah, I became a youth minister and served at one parish in Northern Arizona for 11 years.

Speaker 1

Wow, I know, were you running the life team and Edge and whatnot, or was it?

Speaker 2

We started as a life team parish. Eventually, I just kind of created our own resources.

Speaker 1

For content.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, just tried to pray and it was a unique experience to evolve with families and with teenagers in general, like in 11 years, like that's a big span. It's quite the difference from those first kids that I was with to who I ended up with, you know.

Speaker 1

Absolutely. And as the fellow youth minister for about seven years before I went into high school, chaplaincy, how did the Lord work on your heart? Oh it's primarily During that time in youth ministry.

Speaker 2

Primarily about my heart.

Speaker 1

I say that yeah, totally.

Speaker 2

Totally. I mean, I didn't have a degree in anything. I had a degree in special education which, listen, like classroom management, those things help. But my formation happened in the adoration chapel. My formation happened as Jesus tended to my own heart, healed me, loved me, taught me his word. Yeah, he was very patient with me and the families were patient with me and the staff was so good to like let me grow.

Speaker 2

You know, I remember about year seven, maybe six or seven, I was really tired and just feeling like, you know, I was still single at this point and it was a relatively small town so I was getting pretty antsy about my location and, yeah, worldly pressures too, of like what do I have to show for this? Is this enough, you know? And I remember going like interviewing for another job and kind of being open to that and even went and they offered me the job. And I remember being in the chapel when I came back and the Lord said to me I will, I will bless you there or I will bless you here. It's your choice and I.

Speaker 2

It was actually a pivotal moment because I think, maybe for the first time, I said yes to the parish I was already at and so there was a greater confidence and commitment, there was a greater generosity because I chose it in a deeper way, whereas before, again this like thread of this kind of like vocational waiting, you know like I'll do this until I become a wife and a mom, you know like this is a good way to spend my life until but yeah, I really gave the Lord my yes after those seven years and then it was like my ministry became profoundly fruitful, spiritually speaking, and also the Lord was able to do so much more in me because I said yes, because I was more disposed to what he was teaching me.

Speaker 1

Yeah, that's amazing. I really felt the Lord's presence in that, just of being able to truly give that fiat of being all in and the freedom I think the freedom being there, of knowing that like, look, you have another job offer, but it's like yeah. I'm gonna say yes to this.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, it was the best. Yes, honestly like to receive the gift of my own life in a way, like to choose my own life that I already have, that was that beautiful and that blessed and that missional already, like I didn't have to go somewhere else to look for God or to look for anointing, like I had it. If I would just give my yes.

Journey With Blessed Is She

Speaker 1

Wow, amen. And so when did you get involved with Blessed Ishii? I'm curious. Just on the story there.

Speaker 2

Yeah, so maybe I guess I've been a youth minister for 10 years and we did. Adiocese of Phoenix here in Arizona is just such a rich diocese and and we had such a saintly bishop who's now our Bishop of Meritus. He's retired Bishop Thomas Olmsted, but just so inspiring in his holiness and his initiatives and his just, his witness and love was so beautiful. So we there was a lot happening in the diocese. So many initiatives like Teen was born here, blessed Ishii was born here. He brought so many religious communities to the diocese of Phoenix. I mean, I'm not naming, there are dozens more of ministries that began here and are here. So we did a lot of collaborating with Life, teen, with other parishes. We did like multi-parish diocesan youth retreats and I was always I spoke on those retreats.

Speaker 2

Now Jenna Gizar, who's the founder of Blessed Ishii, my best friend, her husband Mike, was a drummer in a worship band. He's to drum with Aikondolo and they would do our best in youth retreats. So when Jenna started Blessed Ishii maybe a year and a half in she wanted to host a retreat because retreats had been so formative in her own conversion or a deeper conversion again that like just the deposit of like faithful youth ministry in the diocese of Phoenix changed so many lives, probably worldwide, but I think especially here and when she hosted that first retreat. Mike just suggested, like you should ask Beth Davis to come and speak, so I came down, I gave a talk on the very first Blessed Ishii retreat, called Beauty for Ashes, so sweet and I just did a little workshop.

Speaker 2

I had met Jenna I didn't know her and so she asked me to give a workshop on prayer. Actually, jenna loves to tell this story because she asked me to give a workshop on distractions in prayer and I kind of can't believe I did this. Again, like hearing a little bit of my insecurity. It's kind of shocking to me to remember this. But when she asked me to give a talk on distractions in prayer, I said no, I want to talk about intimacy in prayer, like it was. It's crazy to me that I felt so confident to like say no to a talk that someone's asking me to give. But I just feel like why are we given airtime to distractions in prayer instead of painting the beauty of prayer, inviting people to prayer? Like why are we taught everybody's aware of the obstacles, let's talk about what's possible, let's talk about the love and the mercy and the intimacy like let me, let me say what's worth fighting for, rather than talking about fighting, you know yeah, well said, and how'd the talk go?

Speaker 2

I still like again, like I can't believe that there were other workshops happening. She made me give it twice. I was such early days of like using technology and ministry so I remember she was in the back with her phone and I was like, what are you doing in between the workshops? And she's like, oh, I'm live on Periscope. I'm like what is that? And there was this whole like.

Speaker 2

It was very prophetic in a way, because it's still my life now, but at the time I was like no, like don't, I don't want people to like see this, like this is just for these people, this is just my little offering. But it was so the Lord to be like no, actually, let's like, let's amplify this message. That's like from my heart, you know God's heart. So the talk was great, it was so fun. And Jenna called me the next day again, like new friends, you know, and she I'll never forget it was one of those like defining moments, like I know where I was at my parents house, I driven down from Flagstaff for the retreat. I was staying with them and she said, let's take this thing on the road and I was like what thing? What is this? So I became a writer for Blessed Ishii from there and really the this.

Speaker 2

The story is just that we became best friends. Jenna was still a respiratory therapist full-time, working at a hospital with three little kids at home, doing Blessed Ishii, like in the middle of the night, like the dark, quiet hours on her laptop, like taking online courses, learn how to code and build websites. She's like such, she's so inspiring, she's such a learner and visionary and she would call me like on her way to go pick up lunch for all the like staff on her floor. And we would like talk about Blessed Ishii on my lunch break. And, yeah, just kind of doing it with like just the scraps of our time, but it was more and more time, you know yeah and, significantly, there was a day I was having lunch with a friend again, this is about year 11 I've been with Blessed Ishii.

Speaker 2

I wrote a retreat with Jenna for Blessed Ishii. We traveled and done it. I think in like Seal Beach, california, just this, like humble, sweet, organic thing. You know, we like drove, we had to borrow her parents car to like drive merch and like I don't know.

Speaker 2

It's so that really things we do for the kingdom totally, we like drove to California and put on this sweet retreat and like that was as far as I dreamed. You know, like that was, that was the dream and I was having lunch with a friend and I was just so tired, like as much as I like loved the ministry. I thought we're coming to the end of the year and I was like I don't know that I have another year in me and you know you work in a school. You've done like youth ministry. There's like a ramping up for the summer season, conferences and you know, bible studies, and it's a different kind of ministry that happens in the summer. And then, like, kicking off another year, another theme.

Speaker 1

We do nights, you know whatever, and I was like you're going to camp for a week, like yes, yeah.

Speaker 2

And I drove home from that lunch and Jenna called me on her lunch break and she said would you ever do this like full-time, would you ever consider doing this? I was like yeah, it was the easiest yes I've ever given. And so she said again another like defining moment. She said you asked Jesus and I'll ask the bookkeeper. And I went straight away to our adoration chapel at the parish. I vividly had an image of being in the boat and seeing Jesus standing on the water like clear, clear skies, beautiful day.

Speaker 2

And I ran out of the boat and he threw his head back laughing and I just knew like this yes was going to bring him a lot of joy. And so it was very. It was the easiest thing in the world to say yes and I mean I love those families and yeah, but I feel like I ended well, whereas if I had tried to leave at seven years I would have left burnt out and kind of resentful, you know. But after, like when the Lord called me to leave and I could give a full and free yes, I was able to leave just with a lot of peace, you know, and joy.

Speaker 1

Can you share that image that you had one more time?

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

Of when you went to Jesus.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I was in a boat and I was looking out on the Sea of Galilee and I'd been to the Sea of Galilee, actually and so I just had a real vivid picture. But on that particular day, you know, it wasn't a day like we read about often in the Gospels, like there was no storm. It was blue skies, a lot of sunlight, just the perfect weather, cool air, and the water was just this brilliant blue. And I just saw Jesus standing waiting for me on the water and I, without hesitating, just ran out of the boat, ran on the water and again, yeah, I just knew from, like, my ability to get out and run on the water that that's what I was going to get to do in this new job and that, yeah, that's been totally true. I think what the beauty of it too was him throwing his head back and laughing, like to see me so free in my yes was a share in his joy.

Speaker 1

Yeah, amen, sorry, yeah, I just got hit with the like the Holy Spirit, as you were talking. I couldn't contain it.

Speaker 2

I was getting, I was starting to get fired up. Praise God, praise God yeah.

Speaker 1

I mean just to share a little bit, uh, vulnerably. Um, I also was given just last week actually I was in confession and uh, the Lord actually gave me an image of one foot on the boat, the boat, but actually one foot on the dock. And uh, you know, it's funny because I've been saying my yes for years, like I've been, I've been trying to live the Catholic faith for 12 years now, right, like I get my yes when I was 21.

Speaker 1

Um, but I can. I confessed that and I basically said in confession I was like I want to be all in, told us to us for Jesus, and just that image of like kicking my foot off the dock.

Speaker 2

Wow.

Speaker 1

And like this is last week, Wow. And being in the boat and seeing Jesus there and just hearing those words like, don't be afraid, I'm with you.

Speaker 2

You know.

Speaker 1

so when you said that, image it just it hit me because the Lord spoke so recently to that and I think there's something there of just being on the water with the Lord.

Speaker 2

I mean, you do realize there's a dock behind you and water.

Speaker 1

Yeah, but you know, it's interesting, as a friend of mine who was a seminary and would always speak about just that back and forth of discernment, and he, he said very profoundly, he said, you know, at some point you just got to say I'm going to burn the bridge, the bridges, and I'm going to be fallen. Yeah, the Lord's calling me to preside fallen right, yeah. And so just not being afraid to be in the, in the boat, you know on the water with the. Lord, but it's a it's a you know.

Speaker 2

you know, to your point you have said yes, and it's just a deeper yes. You know, it's just another layer of a yes.

Speaker 1

Well said.

Speaker 2

It's just yeah. You've already said yes. That yes brought you to this.

Speaker 1

Yes, we're going to keep saying yes for the rest of our lives. Thank you for saying that, because that was actually what I journaled, exactly what you just said. I said I feel like the Lord in this image was actually calling me into a deeper trust with him.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

So I'll say thank you for adding that.

Speaker 2

I think I think early on our yes, not that this doesn't happen later in life, but we get a little bit more. We know kind of where we are, we're in our vocation, we're in our job, whatever we're on a track. But I think the yeses that come with maturing in the Lord are are typically interior, like the exterior yeses we've already we're making big strides for like cut sin out of our lives and live a live, a missional life, live radically, like in the power of the Holy Spirit, like these things happen more externally. But the yeses that keep coming, yeah, I've similarly had a couple of like significant yeses. But nothing in my world looks different to everything within. Looks different because I said yes.

Speaker 1

Yeah, well said and just recognizing it, that it's like a deeper call yeah. To that, which is yeah. Speaking of trust, one of the questions that came in for you was how do we learn to trust God?

Speaker 2

Yeah, that's a good question. I'll call you.

Speaker 1

I'll call you when I figure it out, okay.

Speaker 2

Okay, let me help, let me help you yeah.

Speaker 2

I think it's two fold Trust takes time and takes practice, so those two things work together. But the longer we do life with the Lord, the more yeses we give to him, the more experience we have of who he is and what he's able to do, what he's willing to do. And so, with every experience of his faithfulness it's, it does get easier to say yes, because you know who you're trusting. The trust doesn't feel quite as blind because, like you, you know that God comes through, you know that he loves you, so, but it takes time to accumulate that experience. I would say you have to keep trusting him for him to come through and show you that he's faithful.

Speaker 1

Yeah, it makes me think of Romans 8 28. Do we know that God is working for the good for those who love him, for those who are called according to his purpose?

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

That he's working for our good.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I mean not that it's my life verse. Romans 8 28 is my life verse. Me too, did you say you too?

Speaker 1

Yeah, it's like my go-to. Someone will ask me what's your favorite verse? I'm like Romans 8, 28.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I always like joke, I talk about it there. I have like Romans 8 28 lenses, like I see the world through Romans 8, 28. It's kind of like God's will for me that that quote from Mother Teresa. I already know that deeply. All things work together for good for those who love God, and I love God and I'm called according to his purpose. So everything, even tragedy, even suffering, if he allows that in his permissive will which I don't spend a lot of time wondering what's permissive, what's active I just know that God's hand is on my life and so I. So I trust that he's making everything work together for my good and his glory, everything.

Speaker 1

I don't mean to go back to this, but God's will period, God's will exclamation.

Speaker 2

Yeah, exactly, I actually think I, every time I tell that story, I explain the punctuation because I think you, you almost it's like defiant, you have to, you have to say like God's will period, like I believe this. I don't feel it, but I believe this. So you're making a declaration, totally, totally, so you're deciding that you can trust God, that his hand is in this, that he's making all things work together for good, and then you can celebrate that, like from that place of of belief, from that decision, like giving an ascent of faith, from that place, then you can believe all things, yeah, yeah. Exclamation point.

Speaker 1

I love that, but but it is very much like even when you don't feel like it the call to still get that, yes, the call to still declare God's will Right.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1

I want to go back a little bit from the beginning of you sharing your story. But I mean this question hits and praise God that someone felt the courage to ask it. I want to heal my deep fear that I am not lovable. How do I let Jesus actually heal me?

Speaker 2

Wow, yeah, well, I think it's interesting that even the form of the question called that a fear, like so you know that that's not really of God. There's just a fear there and there is no fear in love, perfect love cast out fear. So, yeah, you're a hero. Yeah, that feels kind of like an aside, but I just want to like call it like, say it for what it is, which is a lie. It's a lot to translate that knowledge that it's a lie into a feeling that we're loved. But I do think it begins with making a decision Similarly like a declaration, like no, that's not true, that's a fear and there's no fear. And love, perfect love cast out here, similar to trust. Actually, I would say it takes time, it takes a lot.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I recently read this story of a woman on our team. Actually, it's in a devotion that hasn't come out yet. Her blessed is she. But she was talking similarly about an insecurity like that she was unlovable and she said it. You know it took like holy friendships and you know a couple of other things. And then she said and about a million holy hours. And I was like that is my story too. That is it.

Speaker 2

It is not one and done, like the number of times that the Lord has told me that he loves me, that I'm beautiful. Honestly, they're not even words, like if I could describe to you, like the look in his eye when he looks at me, like the expression on his face when he looks at me. I know that I'm loved and he's he's answered specific things, like in language in my heart, like told me that I'm infinitely lovable. But it's taken about a million of those experiences and it's still being healed for me. So I don't share that to discourage you.

Speaker 2

I share that to encourage anyone who feels like how have I not? Like I've prayed about this, I've brought this to the Lord. It's okay that it takes time, just takes time. I actually think it's a mercy of God that it takes time because it keeps us dependent on him. It keeps us coming back and asking him Like tell me again, you know, tell me again that you love me, tell me again that I'm beautiful, tell me again that I matter. And I'm sure, like speaking to a man, he would say slightly different or more things to you, but we, we just have to hear it.

Speaker 1

I'll share that. Usually when I say like Lord, like what do you even think? He always says you're a son.

Speaker 2

Well yeah. It's beautiful.

Speaker 1

It's like you're my child.

Speaker 2

Yeah, you're, mine You're mine Period yeah.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, we just we have to hear it again and again. There's not something wrong with you if you have to hear it again and again. I think about, like my spirituality is the song of songs. And you'll notice this funny thing in that book that the lover and the beloved repeat one another. They just like say back to the other one what they say. And it's at first you're reading, you're like this is so weird, like why aren't you saying anything else? But it's like you just come to a place where, like you can't not stay. You're just saying the same thing back and forth.

Speaker 2

And have you ever had that experience in worship? Where I'll give you an example? There's a song I want to say it's by Amanda cook, where she sings like you are beautiful in all your ways. I don't even know what the song is, not a thing, or not a worship leader, but I'll be like singing that in worship and I'll just hear the Lord singing that to me. You are beautiful in all your ways. Like he's always just like loving me. He's always just saying Like over the top, sappy, embarrassing things that I deeply want to hear. So, just yeah, stay, stay needy, stay desperate, I don't know, just keep asking him like tell me again, tell me again that you love me, you know, and do it in adoration. So yeah, just going with him in moderation.

Speaker 1

And I would say an adoration to actually go as close as you can to the feet of Jesus Be married Sit at the. Lord's feet and listen to him speak.

The Beauty of the Eucharist

Speaker 2

Yes. There's something very beautiful about being able to be very close to the monstrance and just you know, speaking of that, I started going to daily mass Like three little over three years ago and it's very humble for like it's humbling for me to say that, because I was in full time ministry at a parish, I had daily mass like at my disposal all the time. But, like you know, you've been a schedule or whatever. I just didn't know, I just wasn't well for you know right.

Speaker 2

And I was honestly very self-reliant. I think, like we all are, and I started going to daily mass, like, speaking of closeness, and I started receiving him every day, that will undo you in the best possible way. Like, let him come that close to your wounds, let him come that close to your daily life, let him come that close to your desires. Like you know, receive him in the Eucharist. The Eucharist is our medicine. Yes, it's our, it's our oneness, yeah, and the Eucharist? My answer is the Eucharist.

Speaker 1

Amen. What is your favorite thing about being Catholic?

Speaker 2

The Eucharist. Amen, I'll say I mean, what else is there? There's a lot, actually, there's a lot to love about Catholicism.

Speaker 2

I love how the church is universal, but it's so small. I, I like gosh. 10 years ago I went to Finland, so randomly, I was in Helsinki and it was like the Feast of Corpus Christi and they did this Eucharistic procession. I don't, I didn't understand a word of Finnish, but like I knew exactly what was happening, like that was, that was Jesus and we're all worship. We don't even speak the same language, but we're worshiping. I, I was in Ireland for six weeks last year, for I spent length there and, yeah, it was just like it anchored me to. I went to Mass every day and I was home, even though I was halfway around the world. I was home every single day in the church. Yeah, you just belong in the church. Anywhere you are, you belong because Jesus is there and it's your home. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1

I love seeing the universality especially World Youth Day just being surrounded by Catholics literally all over the world.

Speaker 2

Okay, so you've been to World Youth Day.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I went to the one in Madrid, spain and it was it was incredible. Yeah, yeah. I mean when I was dealing in iteration. To my right I asked where the person was from, and the young girl basically she's like I'm from India. And then to my left, I asked where she was from, and she's like I'm from Afghanistan.

Speaker 2

I was like wow, it's so cool.

Speaker 1

You know, like it was just amazing, yeah, like just every single country in the world was there.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

Like it was yeah, so powerful.

Speaker 2

I love to just be in Mass. Sorry, go ahead.

Speaker 1

No, I was just going to share, like we stopped in Paris on the way to Madrid, and same thing with Mass. I mean, it was like I did not speak French very well, but I was able to just follow. I was like I know exactly where we are. The universality of the church, right, it's like you could totally. You felt like you're home, so sorry what were you going to say?

Speaker 2

Yeah, just like I'll be in Mass. You know I go to this evening Mass on Wednesdays and, like I start to, I'm starting to recognize that's a new Mass for me. So I'm starting to recognize the people there. And you know, this family who has a special needs child, this family who's bringing all of their teenagers on a Wednesday night, this elderly couple, you know, and I'm like this is my family and not in a I don't know. It's not like a perfect bow, it's not like it's just like this is reality, like I'm connected to these people in such a deep way that I may not know until heaven or I, you know, could introduce myself after Mass. But yeah, it's just family.

Speaker 2

I feel similarly about the saints. I feel like the saints come into our lives. This is just my own personal theory. I think they have relationships with us, like different members of our family, like so John Paul II is like an uncle to me, like I feel this like uncle kind of vibe from him, whereas you know, therese is a different role for me and Mother Angelica is, you know, a different role for me. And yeah, I think we just have such a big, beautiful family in the church, and it's because of the Eucharist. It's because we're one in Jesus in the Eucharist.

Speaker 1

Yeah, and I think in my own journey, just as I've gone deeper in my relationship with the Lord, just realizing, like, how close the communion of saints actually are to us, Totally yeah. It really is amazing to reflect on, yeah, yeah. All right, I always ask every guest this question to kind of conclude with the night what is your hope for the future of our church?

Speaker 2

Um, yeah, my hope for the church is that every Catholic would be filled with the Holy Spirit, like a baptism of the Holy Spirit, and actually live radically for Jesus. Like, live with joy. Live with, like radical joy that draws people like to mock to the flame, you know, not only for the sake of truth, you know, but for the sake of joy, like for the joy of being Catholic. Like, let's live like we have the greatest gift in the world because we do, and let's give it away. But I think it's the Holy Spirit in us that makes us, makes trust easier, makes sharing our faith easier, makes yeah, I don't know, I'm reflecting a lot on joy lately. I just think if we could just live in the joy of the Spirit, which is a fruit of relationship with the Holy Spirit, his life in us, then I think the church would be fuller, you know, would be more attractive to people.

Speaker 1

Yeah, well said, and if someone's listening to this, how do you think that they could begin the process of starting this?

Speaker 2

Oh yeah, Just ask the Holy Spirit.

Speaker 1

Or ask and you will receive.

Speaker 2

I want more of you. I want more of you. I know that by virtue of my baptism you came and you made your home in me. But be stirred up in me. I want to live radically. I give you my yes to live radically. Whatever that looks like, you know, and people think that means I'm going to have to, like uproot my life and move to wherever and or become a priest. People think radical again is exterior, but it's an interior disposition, basically that we're giving him our yes to Like if you're filled with the Holy Spirit, you're just, you're going to be kind to your barista and like let people over in traffic and invite over neighbor kids. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2

Like that's what it means to be like on fire with the Holy Spirit. As you just become Jesus, you become love. Yeah.

Speaker 1

Sorry, you gave me a flashback to this lady that was yelling at me in the parking lot yesterday.

Speaker 2

Oh, no, oh goodness.

Speaker 1

And it was just. I wasn't even angry, I was like are you okay? Like what?

Speaker 2

She's not.

Speaker 1

Most people are not okay. But even as she was done yelling, I was like I hope you have a great day. And I wasn't even being sarcastic, I was actually sincere.

Speaker 2

I was like you know what? Yeah?

Speaker 1

Yeah, we need more joy.

Speaker 2

I mean, life is very hard.

Speaker 1

You know what I mean, true.

Speaker 2

I shudder to think what my life would be like, what my personality would be, without Jesus, without the purifying and the healing that Jesus has done in my soul. I shudder to think what I would be like.

Speaker 1

Well said. That's a good reminder too when we encounter different people like we don't really know their story and so just to meet them with the love of Christ right.

Speaker 2

Yes.

Speaker 1

Absolutely.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

Well, on that note, beth, I just want to thank you so much for your yes to Jesus and his church. It's been so much fun just to hear you share your story and how God's been able to move in your heart, and so thank you so much for your vulnerability. It was moving, yeah, holy Spirit was definitely moving tonight. For sure. If people would like to connect and learn more about Blessed Ashii, how can they do?

Speaker 2

that? Yeah Well, we'd love to just support any and every woman, from wherever you are in the world, so you can join us on literally any channel that suits you. If you're on Instagram, we're there. If you're on Facebook, we're there. Check out our website, blessedashiinet. We have YouTube videos to encourage you, to give you community, but I would encourage women to join the Blessed Ashii app, because we want you to actually connect with women in your local area and then we'll give you resources to make those friendships fruitful in the Lord.

Speaker 1

I love that. That's amazing. Would you be willing to close this in person? I thank you again for taking the time.

Speaker 2

Yes, please, yeah, oh my gosh, what a joy. Let's do it Absolutely. All right Holy Spirit. Amen come Holy Spirit, come Holy.

Speaker 1

Spirit.

Speaker 2

Lord, thank you that you're already here. You're always with us so we become aware of your presence. Holy Spirit, I pray for an outpouring of your spirit now upon each and every soul with us, wherever they are listening, in their car, their dorm room, their kitchen, doing the dishes, wherever they are, lord, fill them with your presence, fill them with your peace. And, lord, I ask that you would give each and every soul here a deep and abiding sense of your hand on their life from the moment of their conception. Would you pour into each of our souls a deep knowing that we were wanted by you, willed by you, loved by you? Do you pour that love into our souls now? Pour it into overflowing Lord. We might live from that place of overflowing living water. Spring up again in our hearts.

Speaker 2

Lord, if there is anything blocking that wellspring of your love and your life, just ask very gently, holy Spirit, that you would illuminate and invite us to come and be reconciled to you in the sacrament of confession. Maybe someone who's listening or watching isn't even Catholic. I pray that you would remove every obstacle to them coming home to your heart, coming home to your arms in the Catholic Church, and I ask that you would bring to fruition in each of our souls the fruit of joy in knowing you, holy Spirit. And now that there would be just a holy laughter, even holy tears of joy, lord, that we know that our life is in your hands and there's nothing to fear in your love. So we renew our yes, we give you a deeper yes, jesus, we pray all these things in your holy and precious name, amen, amen. Thanks for listening.

Speaker 1

If you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support the ministry, please share with others, post about it on social media or please leave a rating and review. To catch all the latest stories, you can follow us on Instagram at yescatholic and visit our website, yescatholiccom. If you have benefited from YesCatholic, please consider joining our Patreon community. Visit patreoncom slash yescatholic. I would like to thank our current patrons for your ongoing prayers, support and contributions that have helped YesCatholic reach thousands of souls all over the world each week. First Peter 315 says Always be prepared to make a defense to anyone who calls you to account for the hope that is in you. You have a story. Don't be afraid to share the good news of how Jesus Christ has moved in your life with a family member, friend or colleague. Make Jesus your yes every single day and watch the ripple effect of the gospel. Join us next week. The journey continues right here at YesCatholic.