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Rediscovering Faith and Identity with Sincerely Alanis
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What happens when a vibrant "firecracker" from New York City embarks on a heartfelt journey of faith and transformation? This week, we sit down with Alanis, the voice behind the blog, "Sincerely Alanis." Her story is an inspiring blend of personal growth and spiritual awakening, beautifully woven through her reflections on modesty, femininity, and identity. Alanis shares how motherhood and her admiration for Pope St. John Paul II have been pivotal in her transformation.
We dive deep into the transformative process of sanctification through humility. Alanis opens up about the painful yet necessary discomforts of spiritual purification, drawing on biblical wisdom and personal experiences. The role of humility and the guiding intercession of Our Lady are highlighted as essential elements on the path to holiness and spiritual growth.
In our final chapter, Alanis recounts her journey of finding self-worth through Eucharistic adoration and the healing power of aligning one's identity with God's affirming words. She explains how social media became a powerful platform for her evangelism, allowing her to share her faith and love for the Lord from her home. This episode is a heartfelt conversation about faith, identity, and the hope for a future where the church thrives in its true identity.
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Welcome to yes Catholic, the place where real people share their real stories and realize it is all God's grace on the move. I'm your host, David Patterson, and every week we hear a new guest share their story of how they came to give their yes to Jesus and his church. So let's get started Really excited tonight to welcome Alanis. Welcome, friend. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story.
Speaker 2Yeah, thanks for having me, I'm excited.
Speaker 1Absolutely so. For those who don't know you, why don't you share a little bit about yourself before we dive into the rapid fire icebreaker challenge? For sure.
Speaker 2My name is Alanis. I'm from New York City, I've been residing here for the past 10 years, on and off, and I have a little blog called Sincerely Alan Alanis. I recently changed my Instagram handle. It used to be cat lady alley for like eight years, um, but on there we talk about modesty, we talk about femininity, identity so a lot of like complex topics, but at the same time, they can be a little bit more vain and vapid. So it could be like this is how you style baggy jeans, but then, at the same time, like digging into like why are we even clothing our bodies, and how our wardrobe can actually glorify God. So a lot of cool things there. But yeah, that's a little bit about me.
Speaker 1That's a great summary. Well, let's get to know you a little bit more. With the rapid fire, we're definitely going to dive in more to hear your story and how you got here, but you're ready to tackle some of these questions for sure all right, describe yourself as a kid in three words.
Speaker 2I was a firecracker. Okay, very spastic adhd child like sugar addict. Um, I was a lover. I still am a lover, just like love, bombed people and a diva yeah, I definitely had a diva to me at a young age the diva as well.
Speaker 1Okay as a firecracker. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
Speaker 2now I I think virtue's in the middle not to be that annoying person. I think virtue's in the middle so I really try to be level-headed about it.
Speaker 2I wake up at a reasonable hour, go to sleep at a reasonable hour, um, but I like more. I think I prefer mornings. Morning person. Okay, if you could have any superpower, what would it be? Um, I was thinking about this question and, honestly, I think motherhood is seriously the biggest superpower anyone can have. So I was, I think I would love to just like have the gift of motherhood. How is a child within me for nine months to stay in it, receive that's so powerful and then, from there, be able to levitate, you know levitation comes up pretty often I'm sure.
Speaker 2I'm sure that's why I'm like I need to be a little different motherhood right, no, that's, that's beautiful.
Speaker 1Okay, go to order at a coffee shop, drink coffee.
Speaker 2Uh, I drink tea. I like a chai latte. Chai latte, yeah.
Speaker 1Nice. It's funny, like the past couple of weeks it's been tea like not coffee. It's we're trending right now.
Speaker 2For sure, crazy.
Speaker 1It's been tea, all right. Go to short prayer come holy spirit for sure. Okay, uh, if you could have tea I usually say coffee with any saint, but we're switching it up. If you could have tea with any saints, who would it be?
Speaker 2pope john paul ii, for sure I I think I'd want to like pick his brain in that moment too, but he would just like gaze so tenderly at at me and I would just melt and feel so known in scenes. And JP too, he's such a homie.
Speaker 1I love that and I love how he, just like, remembered people's names so well. I want to be better at that, you know.
Speaker 2I love hearing those stories. It's so inspiring. Yeah, he just saw the person so good.
Speaker 1Just pray for that gift every single day. All right, last one If you could ask God one question, what would it?
Speaker 2be Ricky. Ricky, you interviewed Ricky Gonzalez and he answered it so perfectly. He's like I've been talking to God all the time and I'm asking him questions. All the time I relate to that. I usually ask him like what is your heart for the situation, what is your heart for this person, what is your heart for me? So those are my go-to Jesus questions.
Speaker 1Love that. Well, friend, you flew through the rapid fire. Let's begin with an opening prayer, and I just really feel called to ask our lady to wrap us in her mantle and ask for her motherly intercession. And so, if you'll join me in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, amen, hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, jesus.
Speaker 2Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
Speaker 1St John Paul II, please pray for us In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Speaker 2All right.
Speaker 1Alanis, let's dive right in. Where does your story begin?
Speaker 2Where does my?
Speaker 1story begin.
Speaker 2Yeah, where does your story begin? Where does my story begin? Yeah, great question I have. I shared it on the Instagram post.
Speaker 2It begins with like a lot of just wounding in my identity, a lot of lies that I believed about myself and about my worth and about the way I perceived myself, and from there just went into a lot of striving, just like striving to receive the worth that I believed that I did have, but I didn't believe I was like enough as I was, and so I was striving so much all throughout high school, even in my childhood, I believe like the love bombing.
Speaker 2I think that's coming from a place of like I want to be loved in this way, so I need to like give like so much of this like firecracker personality in order to be received in that way. But yeah, it looked like a lot of striving through the way that I dressed and, modestly, like revealing my body in order to be loved. I became addicted to makeup. I actually was a makeup artist for five years after high school because I loved it. It was definitely like a passion, but it was also a vice and just something I was super addicted to. And then, in my relationships and men, a lot of striving there and believing that, in order to be loved in the way that I wanted to be loved.
Speaker 2I needed. I needed it in a relational context. So from there I was. So I was left unfulfilled. I realized, okay, like I am receiving this, but it's not satisfying. And at the end of the day, I would like strip myself of all of these things. People liked about me, like, at the end of the day, you know, you go home, you wash your face, you put on your pajamas and you look in the mirror and you're like, would I be loved in this state? And ultimately, like I just felt like the answer was no, and so that left me in this identity crisis. Like who am I if it's not any of these things? And that's when the Lord brought me into my pruning process, as I call it.
Speaker 2I had my conversion into the faith and my sister had this radical 180 conversion. Her best friend prayed a 54-day novena for her and my sister and I were super close at that time and it felt just so scary Like I lost my sister and she was just like this, really like holier than thou person. And she stopped wearing pants, she only wore skirts, she stopped wearing makeup, she got rid of all of her piercings. So there was a moment when I was really afraid of her. I was like, who are you?
Speaker 2And then she was so patient with me and she prayed with me and she taught me, like the beauty of the faith, like this is why, uh, you know, we dress modestly. This is why I veil at mass. Like this is why, um, we believe that Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist. Just like answering all of these why? Questions that I never had the answer to, and she walked in such a freedom that I yearned for. And so, from there, um, from there, yeah, just had my conversion. I fell more and more in love with the Lord and I joined a mission called the culture project.
Speaker 1After that, I so would you say, would you say that that conversion, that pruning process, though, was slow and steady.
Speaker 2Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 1It was a gradual process of conversion.
Speaker 2It was definitely gradual. It took me two to three. My sister had just a night and day. She woke up on day 40, through this novena, and she was like I need to change my life and start going to mass and do all of these things. Mine took two to three years and still a part of my story is just daily conversions.
Speaker 2I fully believe the Lord is calling us into deeper, uh, devotion to him. So it was slower for me. Uh, it took me some time to be like, oh, I am not my clothing, um, and I am not like intrinsically immodest, and so when the Lord was stripping me of those things, it was just so hard because I truly believe that's who I was. So it's like like, okay, maybe instead of wearing like shorts, I'll wear like capris and then from capris pants, you know. So it like took some time to transition there. So it was definitely a gradual process. Yeah, and then I joined the culture project totally transformed my life. I met some of my greatest friends there. I learned about the mission of theology of the body and Pope John Paul II, who I love so much. And, yeah, daily conversions from there on glory to God.
Speaker 1Wow, that's amazing. And how did the Lord really move in your heart through the culture project?
Speaker 2My stars In so many ways. I think most people enter the mission thinking that they're going to transform the culture and in a way that's true. It's like a mission devoted to the dignity of other people. And so you go and you're like I'm going to love the person before me so hard and then the Lord Uno reverse cards it and he's like actually we'm going to love you so hard through these people and I needed it so badly. So it was during that time I fasted from makeup and it was the first time I ever did something like that and I was just loved in a more authentic way than when I wore makeup and was being quote unquote like contrabanded loved. So that's how he transformed me.
Speaker 2I think sometimes we are, we live in a very self-absorbed culture and I mean that and like you hear it about just this um, proclamation of self. Like every morning people wake up and they just start doing declarations and they're like I am wise, I am'm a boss, babe, I'm going to make money today. I am like all of these eye centered comments and sometimes it takes just shifting your gaze to the other person in order to realize like this person is believing lies about themselves. But I see them and I love them for their truest self. So that must be true about me. That must be my reality as well. So sometimes, in this paradoxical way, it takes just shifting your gaze outside of self and giving yourself as a gift to another person in order to be able to see yourself as gift, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1Yeah, no and that's kind of what you said in your story is you started to view your life as a gift?
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Right, which is incredible, and really that is that's what love is. Love is what can I give Right, whereas less can very much be like what can I get? It goes inward. Love actually goes outward.
Speaker 2Right. I always said that in my talks, like when you look at a crucifix. You see, this selfless love, like jesus is saying this is my body given to you. And then, when we experience lust, someone is literally saying to you that's your body and I take it. It's such, it's the opposite of love. Um, so you hit it, yeah, right on the nail.
Speaker 1For someone who's going through the conversion pruning process. Do you have any words of wisdom or advice for someone who just feels like they're in the midst of it?
Speaker 2Yes, press in. It's so uncomfortable and it hurts, but press into it. One of my favorite Bible verses is from Sirach or Ben Sirach. I'm always confused about that book. In the Bible it has like two names, but it says gold is tested in the fire and the righteous person in the furnace of humiliation. It's like these words, like I don't want to be in fire, I don't want to go inside of a furnace of humiliation, but that's exactly where you were purified and made whole and that is a sanctification process in and of itself. It doesn't say like trash is tested in the fire, because, easily, that's not a test. If you're trash, you will shrivel up and crumble.
Speaker 2But the Lord is putting you through this pruning process, this like purifying season, for a reason because he knows that there's more to the surface. Reason because he knows that there's more to the surface and going back to even like my pruning process within the culture project, like I was being shedded of all of these false identities and like the Lord took him for a season. He's like I'm going to take your love for makeup, I'm going to take your love for fashion, but it's not coming from a malicious like. I am God and I don't like that. You love these things. But he at least in my experience, he's like I'm going to redeem this part and I'm going to give it back to you when you're ready. And actually now all of those things that once led me into sin and into vice has become part of my sanctification and a part of my story to glorifying God. So it's, it's so awesome what the Lord does. He works all things together for good.
Speaker 1Yeah, amen. It makes me think of when I was, when I just came home to the church, being 21 years old and just really striving to live for God. He's so gentle and merciful and I remember, like nobody said to me like you, sinner, you need to change. It was more of like the Lord, just gently, sinner, you need to change. It was more of like the lord, just gently speaking to your heart, you know, just saying, like david, I have so much more for you. I just need you to trust me, you know, and just like stepping into that, like kind of like what you said, like press in, yeah, the fact that like john, 10, 10 right, I came that you might have life and have it to the full, but that gentle invitation, you know, to be patient with that process.
Speaker 2Yes.
Speaker 1And then, as you said, like go ahead.
Speaker 2No, go for it. What were you saying?
Speaker 1I was just going to say, like you said, Romans 8, 28,. Right, that we know that he is working for our good in all things.
Speaker 2Amen, amen. And that's why these conversations are so important, because someone may be experiencing that and even seeing our witness of like us on the other end and of course, there's always more opportunity to be refined, but clearly the Lord brings great glory from that place. So the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy, right?
Speaker 1So people get to like see your experience, my experience, and they're like okay, maybe I really should just like allow, trust the lord that he's gonna actually bring something beautiful from this yeah, absolutely, and I love how you spoke about like just going through the fire, um, through humiliation, right, and how painful that is, but, friends, that is the remedy, like the, I don't know if you've tapped into the lineage of humility, but that prayer is painful to pray but has honestly changed my life, and I'm not even trying to say that to boast like it's. It's incredibly powerful and something that I've been encouraged to, to pray on a daily basis, and I'm not perfect, like some, some days I miss, but it's been a remedy to a lot of challenges, if I'm being honest it's the key.
Speaker 2It's the key to our sanctification.
Speaker 2I'm reading this book on humility right now, so that's yeah, it's hard.
Speaker 2It's so hard to pray for humility because the Lord will come through, but it's if this is the only thing you need to hear in order to be like, oh yes, I need to grow in this area Is that if you, when you get to heaven, there are people who got there and they didn't experience like, they didn't give alms on their time on Earth, potentially like some people who have gotten to heaven because their poverty allowed it. Or, you know, there may be some people in heaven who weren't virgins because their vocation allotted it. There were people in heaven who just like other things I can't remember exactly what it spoke on, but you will not find a single person in heaven who has pride in their heart, because even the angels were cast down from heaven because of that pride. So, like, it's so important for us to grow in that virtue, even if it is so uncomfortable, like you were saying, it's, it's hard to come to terms with. Like, like, yeah, I desire love. And like self gratification, but that belongs to the Lord. Someone, give it to him.
Embracing Divine Love Through Adoration
Speaker 1Yeah, and just the importance of, of asking our lady to intercede for us, right, cause she is crowned in humility, right, which is so beautiful. So, um, if you could go back in time and, uh, talk to your younger self just while you're in the midst of that identity crisis, cause I think a lot of people listening can probably relate, um, to those challenges of like, who am I? You know, what am I even doing right now? Um, what would you want to say to your younger self?
Speaker 2It'd be so hard not to go into rescue mode and just like, give all the remedies to not, um, believe those lies because ultimately, like, it brought me to this great place. But for others who are in that, I'd probably revert back to the words of God in the garden, like who told you you were naked? Like who told you you were unworthy? Who told you you weren't beautiful? When we ask that question, there's so much reflection to be had there because clearly it's not God, it's not my father, and that's the only person whose words hold any weight and credit and value. So, just like, a simple like, who told you that that wasn't God? And so go back to like what God says about you. He says you're fearfully, wonderfully made. He says that you're made in his image and likeness and he is the epitome, the Mecca, the just like worth incarnate. And so that's who you are. Just like, going back to that simple question, like who told you that is a lie you know? Renounce it.
Speaker 1Yeah, absolutely. And how has Eucharistic adoration really blessed you on your own uh journey?
Speaker 2oh my goodness, it's been. I think there's no way a lie can be present in the presence of our god, um just like offering it to him in eucharistic adoration. I, oh my gosh, yeah, I feel so emotional.
Speaker 1That line that you just said, like I feel like the line sorry, not lie, the line about how no lie could be present. Can you repeat that Cause that?
Speaker 2in the presence of God and there's no way a lie could be present. I'd so like when you're in the presence of God and you're giving him glory and you're just like pointed and fixated on him, there's no way that we can be pointed inward or pointed outward into the world. It's just like all. Just like Jesus, jesus, jesus, holy, holy, holy. Like you're too busy saying holy, holy, holy in order to be like I'm not worthy or I'm not good, I'm not beautiful, all of these things.
Speaker 2But how, how did Eucharistic adoration transform that? And like help me stay in that place, just just that. And there have been so many moments where I feel so safe in the presence of his Eucharistic face and it just burns those lies. But I think just like being vulnerable and honest and like being broken down the amount of times I've had just like Eucharistic adoration cries and there are people around me and I'm just like this is me and my father. This is like our time. So just like, go and weep before him and he will receive you in that place. That that craving for love and affection, it's fulfilled in that place. Like obviously we're created for like an eternal fulfillment of that, but you get a glimpse of it in that moment, before his presence, and that's all that's. That's all that we need It'll. Oh my gosh, it's just pure, it's purity, yeah.
Speaker 1So, friends, if it's been sitting at the Lord's feet and listening to him speak, I just want to encourage you right now, if you have an opportunity this week, to just go and to get as close as you can to the tabernacle or the blessed sacrament, right, to literally sit at his feet and allow him to speak to your heart, because I love what you said. Right, just no lie, to be present, I think even when you try, I mean for me, like when I've tried to say Lord, I can't, you try, I mean for me, like when I've tried to say Lord, I can't, you know, so often he just repeats back gently, it's like I can't and I'm like, okay, lord, you know, just trusting in his uh, in his goodness, which is is so amazing.
Speaker 1What? What inspired you to really begin the social media journey of just sharing about everything? That you kind of learned like was it just a random moment where you're like, okay, I'm going to do this, or how did that come about?
Speaker 2it came ultimately from a place of, like me believing I was having my conversion into the faith. I was so in love with the Lord I wanted to shout it from the rooftop, but I was still stuck in that place of believing lies about myself and I I was like I'm too introverted to proclaim this from a rooftop. I can't do that, like my voice doesn't matter. And so, discovering social media, I was like whoa, I can be in the comfort of my own home and, like, still share this. So there was still a little bit of bondage in that place, but it's just when you're in love, you want to, you want to tell the world.
Speaker 2Even when you experience freedom, you're like I want this for everyone. It's so selfish for me to be like I experienced this freedom and this liberation and I want it for myself. Like no, I want everyone to experience this. So, over time, it came from that place of just like wanting to invite other people into this and, yeah, just like sharing, like a digital diary, of just documenting what the Lord has done in my life and being able to like look back on it and seeing all of the good that he's done in those moments when I'm believing lies or I forget about like the power of my story. Just being able to like look back is also it's been not like my main motivation, but it's definitely been a fruit in like having social media and sharing and documenting your story through there.
Speaker 1Yeah, I love that. Well, I always like to ask this question to every guest, just to kind of finish things off, and it is what is your hope for the future of our church? It's a loaded question, but I'd love to ask it.
Speaker 2It is my goodness. St Irenaeus has a quote the glory of God is man fully alive. That's just my desire for the church. I would love to see a church that's like walking in step with the Lord's plan for their lives. And how set ablaze it would be if we all just came to understand who we are and whose we are. It's so cliche but it's so true. Like it all stems from that place of identity. There was one, uh, there was one day I was walking in central park and I was just like looking around at all these people who look so joyful it's not like they were miserable, who knows like where they were out in their walk with Christ. But I was just wondering I'm like man how different would this place look if everyone you know just submitted to the Lordship of Christ? Like if they just devoted their lives to God? How different would they be if they just fell in love with him and like walked in line with who they are? That is something we may never experience, who knows? But just the idea of it. New York City would not be as it is now, that's for sure. The church would not look the same if we all came to full understanding of our daughterhood and our sonship.
Speaker 2Ricky, there was one moment Ricky was giving a talk on identity and he asked the Lord, like a question of like, what do you want me to share in this talk? And the Lord told him like, when you know your son, you act like a son. Which is such a power line. And it's true. When you know your daughter, you act like a daughter. When you know your son, you act like a son, and it changes your demeanor, it changes the way you speak to other people, the way you speak about yourself. So, just coming from that place of like okay, how can the church be transformed, Stepping into your identity? And oh my gosh, just the idea of that makes me emotional. Like, oh my goodness, just the and the, the revival that we desire, it just stems from that place like okay, who am I? I'm god. That changes everything it does.
Speaker 1Yeah, amen to that. Well, on that note, alanis, I just want to thank you so much for your yes to jesus in the church and, um, I just can't wait to see what god does next through your yes. You know like he's moving in beautiful ways and the beautiful thing is that this, the story, continues right and God is working for your good in all things. So if people want to connect and learn more about what you've got going on, how can they go about doing?
Speaker 2that they can follow me on Instagram. Sincerely, alanis, I'm also. I work for a ray of hope ministries. That's so a super cool mission that just has a lot of joyful content. So if you feel like your page is devoid of like, uh, positivity in the Lord, you can follow ray of hope ministries, where we post like a lot of saint, um, positive inspiration centered on the Lord. So, sincerely, alanis and a ray of hope ministries love it and actually a ray of hope.
Speaker 1We were connected in one of my first years, actually positive inspiration centered on the Lord, so Sincerely.
Speaker 2Alanis and Array of Hope.
Speaker 1Ministries Love it and actually Array of Hope.
Speaker 2We were connected in one of my first years actually with yes. Catholic. We had them on and no kidding. Oh yeah, so I have. Was that Mariyama's?
Speaker 1time. What's that?
Speaker 2Mariyama yeah, okay, cool, I didn't realize that.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, so it's been a lot of fun. Well, thank you again so much, and would you be willing to close us in prayer tonight.
Speaker 2Yeah, absolutely Awesome. In the name of the Father, son, holy Spirit, amen, amen, jesus, thank you, lord. We just take a second to just center our hearts on you, to fix our gaze on you, lord, where they belong, like. Even that word fix, like implies that something was wrong. If it's in any other direction, like it's wrong, lord. So we just fix our eyes on you.
Speaker 2We pray for every single person who just received these messages, received my story today, lord, that their eyes would be open to the reality of your redemption and your transformational power. We thank you for the work that you're doing in their hearts in this moment, lord, wherever they're at, we just pray that you would meet them in that place, that you would be like the father and prodigal son, like you would just run, run towards them. And this moment, god, thank you for just how much you love them. We thank you for your love that knows no bound, knows no ends and that pursues relentlessly. Thank you for the ways you've pursued, myself and David relentlessly, and that we're able to speak about it.
Speaker 2Like I said, the testimony of Jesus is a spirit of prophecy, so we're just believing everything that you've done in our lives. You can do it in every single person who comes into contact with this ministry of yes, catholic. Lord, we thank you that you are already just pursuing their hearts in such a tender and gentle way and that you're bringing redemption and transformation in that place. Lord, so we just give you so much glory. God, we thank you for your love, we thank you for your mercy and we just pray blessings over David and his ministry. We pray that it would just enlighten more hearts, that more eyes would be open, that minds would be renewed through it and that you would just expand it in beautiful ways. We pray your favor upon it and, lord, we love you so much and we just ask this all in your name, amen.
Speaker 1Amen. Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support the ministry, please share with others, post about it on social media or please leave a rating and review. To catch all the latest stories, you can follow us on Instagram at yescatholic and visit our website yescatholiccom. If you have benefited from yes Catholic, please consider joining our Patreon community. Visit patreoncom slash yescatholic. I would like to thank our current patrons for your ongoing prayers, support and contributions that have helped yes Catholic reach thousands of souls all over the world each week. 1 Peter 3.15 says Always be prepared to make a defense to anyone who calls you to account for the hope that is in you. You have a story. Don't be afraid to share the good news of how Jesus Christ has moved in your life with a family member, friend or colleague. Give Jesus your yes every single day and watch the ripple effect of the gospel. Join us next week. The journey continues right here at yes Catholic.